The Other Side of Self Care

While my previous trip with a friend was amazing and very important, there is another side of self care.  A side that I don’t like to talk about, but I feel that it needs to be mentioned if I want to be honest and helpful about becoming a healthy adult.

This is the side that includes the raw emotions.  The ones that are not at all fun, but are just as, if not more, vital to acknowledge.  You know the ones; that we sweep under the carpet because it’s easier at the time.  Well, if we do that too often, bad things can happen.

The reason I know about this is because of a very special person and her organization.  The Village of the Valley is a non-profit, whose mission is “to help women find connection in order to discover their unique self to improve and cultivate healthy relationships in communities. It is our calling to walk alongside women navigating life’s journey, assist them to identify each woman’s unique purpose, offer support and help in cultivating personal development skills in order to move forward, emboldened to positively impact their families and communities.”

I happened to be one of those extremely fortunate women.  I met Brandi though another amazing woman, Katie, who was gracious enough to share this treasure with me.  I began to meet with Brandi because, like all of us, I had things going on in my life that I didn’t know how to deal with on my own.

Here’s part of what I learned while speaking with Brandi.

It is not healthy to hold your emotions in.  Sure, we should all know this, and we probably do, but life has a way of helping us forget.  I am very guilty of this.  I don’t remember a time when I was comfortable letting my emotions out in front of people.  Unless it was laughter.  I know all about making jokes to hide the awkward, sad emotions.  I guess I felt that sadness would be seen as weakness.  Who knows the reason, and right now it doesn’t matter to me.  All that matters now is that I find a way to let my emotions out in a healthy manner.

While I’m thinking of it, I need to mention that it is perfectly normal for men to show emotion.  Yes, the emotions that are not anger.  And yes, even real, manly men.  I’m tired of hearing that if a man shows any type of emotion that he is weak.  I wonder if that’s where I got it from?  It’s way past time that we allow men to feel.  Period!  We need to allow, accept, and even admire a man that can show emotions.  And not just when someone retires from football.

Oh, hey, did I mention that the sessions with Village of the Valley are completely free?  Yes!  FREE!!!  What an incredible gift.  If you would like to support this amazing resource with a tax-deductible contributions, please click here.

What are some healthy ways of releasing emotions?

Listening to music– fun!  Music makes the world a better place.  Music takes me away, even if only for a short time.

Exercise– fun’ish, okay, not really, but it’s necessary.  You really do feel physically and mentally so much better when you move your body.  You don’t have to do Triathlons.  Just do something.

Talk or write- fun, maybe?  It really helps to talk about your feelings.  Get them out of your head!  If you don’t feel like you have someone to talk to, write about them.

Crying– no fun at all, but yes it’s healthy to cry.  And it’s even okay to cry in front of people.  At least that’s what I’ve been told, so I guess I’ll have to do my best to try it.  Every time I think about finally letting my emotions out, I think about that one episode of FRIENDS when Bruce Willis plays Rachel’s boyfriend and she begs him to share with her.  You know the episode.  It’s a real possibility.  But I guess if those emotions are there, they’ve got to go somewhere.  I’m sure eventually they’d stop flowing.

What are some of the healthy ways you release your emotions?  Leave your ideas in the comments.  I said healthy!

Put Your Own Mask on First- a Lesson in Self Care

I love when the flight attendant tells you that if the plane loses oxygen, that you NEED to put on your own mask first.  That should tell you something about how important it is to make sure you’re taken care of so that you can in turn help someone else.  And you can’t wait for someone else to take care of you, you need to do it yourself!!!

(CHECK OUT THE VIDEO.  IT’S AT THE BOTTOM.)

It has taken me far longer than it should to make time for myself.  But, instead of beating myself up for it, I’ll just be happy I did it, and I will make sure I take the time to do it again.  I recently planned a trip up to Oregon by myself to do a 5K and visit with my old friends.

I also planned a trip to Tucson, to watch the Oregon Ducks play the Arizona Wildcats.  It would be my second ever Ducks game.  The game was on Saturday, but it was a bit of a drive for me, so I planned to stay the weekend.  Any excuse is a good excuse.  I dragged my friend and neighbor, Jessica with me.  She’s a big football fan, too, and was looking forward to the chance to cheer against the Wildcats.

I picked Jessica up after work on Friday, with the promise to her boss that I would return her in time for work on Monday.  On the drive down we decided that we were going to be spontaneous for the weekend.  Not my usual pre-planning of every single detail.  That being said, I did a whole bunch of planning while I packed.  I made sure I brought everything that I could possibly need for a month away from home.  Yes, it was for two nights.  Baby steps.

 

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Be Healthy

My kids harass me constantly, about me harassing them, to eat right and be healthy.  So, as I’m sitting here eating a small dish of dark chocolate chips, I’m going to give you my take on all that is “being healthy”.

Water is an easy place to start.  Drink enough water. Every time we leave the house, we have our little rainbow cooler bag filled with two bottles of water for each person.  It started when we moved to Arizona and I became terrified of our car breaking down in this heat and dying from lack of water.  Yes, we use plastic water bottles.  I know this is frowned upon, but they’re just so much easier.  Does it help that we recycle them when they’re empty?   We really tried to drink water in a reusable bottle, but we just can’t get over the taste of the water here.  My kids will go back to Oregon and ask for “a delicious glass of Oregon water” wherever we go.

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Here’s Where our Journey Begins

Let’s start on this road to Adulthood with some basic things you need to know.  Things to keep you safe around your home.

**some of the links below are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.

How to Put Out a Small Fire

This is how to put out a SMALL fire.  If it is NOT a small fire, don’t do this.

Call 9-1-1 and let the pros handle it.

You should own a fire extinguisher.  Seriously!  What do I have to do to convince you of that?  After you buy one, you need to teach everyone in your home how to use it.  Also, keep it in a spot where everyone knows where it is and can get to it quickly.  Let’s learn how to put out a small fire.  Here’s what I found…..

 

  1. P- Pull out the pin on the handle of the extinguisher.
  2. A- Aim the hose nozzle low toward the base of the fire, NOT at the top of the flames.
  3. S- Squeeze the handle to spray out the stuff inside.
  4. S- Sweep the nozzle back and forth at the base of the flames until the fire is out.

 

Seems easy enough.  Say it with me; P-A-S-S.  Pull, Aim, Squeeze, and Sweep.  Say it again…..  Okay, fine, don’t.  But if you sing it, you’ll remember it easier.

Again, if it’s a big fire, just call 9-1-1.

 

We’re on a roll here.  Let’s keep it going with learning how to:

Continue reading “Here’s Where our Journey Begins”