Surviving Twenty Years of Marriage

In honor of today, October 9, 2018, the 20th anniversary of me and The Man, I thought I’d write about how we got this far.

 

 

I have no idea how we’ve made it this far.  Marriage is hard.  But I am thankful every day that we have both made the decision to tolerate each other.  And it really is a decision.  One that you have to make on a daily, sometimes hourly basis, that you’re going to do what it takes to make it work.  Here are a few things that I’ve learned along the way.

 

Respect is the most important aspect of any relationship.  We may call each other names and say things to each other that make some people wonder, but it is NEVER when we’re angry.  We fight fair.  Yes, if you are married to another human being, you are going to fight.  But the rules of fighting must include respect.  No name calling.  No humiliation and don’t ever touch the other person out of anger.

 

 

Kindness goes a long way in a marriage, too.  Every night before bed, I get the coffee pods and mugs ready to go for the morning.  It’s a simple thing, but I think it let’s The Man know that I care.  We won’t discuss the fact that when we were first married, I would freshly grind coffee beans in the morning to make him a cup.  Later, it turned to grinding the beans at night, then using already ground coffee, and finally to just a pod in the Keurig.  If there becomes an easier way to do, I can guarantee I’ll take that route, but it’ll still be the thought that counts.  Right?

I can’t even begin to list all the things that The Man has done for me and our family.  Mostly, I’m grateful for him putting up with my crazy.  He’s done A LOT of that in twenty plus years.

 

 

I strongly believe that humor is a ‘MUST’ in a marriage.  If you can’t laugh at/with each other about the difficulties you face, you’re just not going to make it.  Have some fun.  Make sure you find a way to laugh every day.

 

 

Spend time together, with the kids as a family and more importantly, without the kids as a married couple.  You have to remember that once those kids are grown up and on their own, you’re still stuck with each other.  So you might as well get used to it.

 

Marriage is a roller coaster ride.  Many ups, downs and cork screw turns along the way.  Sometimes it goes super fast and sometimes you get stuck somewhere in the middle of the track.  It can be exhilarating some days, and and then other days, make you nauseated.  Oh, but what a ride.  I wouldn’t want to have taken this ride with anyone else.

Hopefully this has given you a few things to try to survive marriage.

If you have your own ideas, comment below, I’d love to hear them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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